Fnaf shorts
by f0xyth3p1rat3f0x
Summary: So I'm uh, doing bloopers- oops fnaf shorts. Yeah. Hehe... WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR READ THE STORY!
1. Phone calls

**so I'm waiting for someone to post on my truth or dare so I'm doing these bloopers- oops, 'funny shorts'** **anyway, enjoy**

Mike sat down at his desk on his first night. He looked at the monitor when the phone rang and he picked it up.

"is this thing on? Oh. Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settlled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. *loud crash* Oh crap. Um, sorry I dropped the mic. Just hang on. *rustling sound* ok. Where was I? Oh yeah. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, hehe or a lot. but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?

Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. *page rustling* Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Oh wow, I have to read this? Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.

Blah blah blah, skip the rest. Umm now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? Yeah. I mean, no. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? P.U, I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? (Grumbled) yeah like how they try to kill us. Hehe you don't hear that last bit, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Yeah...

Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk (and fatal risk) to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. And now for the bad part... Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Geez I'm saying this rather quickly. Um don't faint or anything.

Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."

Once the guy on the phone hung up mike got up and left the office. No way was he staying there.


	2. Desk fans and fiery kids

**hah so first off,** **I'm not 7. That parts a joke.**

Mike was about to walk out the door when he was stopped.

"Were do you think your going?"

He turned around to see a girl with red hair that faded into yellow.

"I, uh..."

"Oh don't worry I know. But you aren't leaving the building till the end of your shift."

"Why not?"

"Because the doors are locked, also because of this." Suddenly a fireball appeared in the girls hand

"AHHH!" Mike screamed and tried tugging on the doors. The girl hadn't lied. They were locked.

"Hehe, yeah... I'll go back into the office..."

"I knew you would agree with me!" Although the girl was most Definitely younger then him she somehow dragged him into the office.

"Now..." Mike said.

"Oh we wait for them to move. So they don't stuff us in suits and are skulls aren't crushed." She said way to cheerily to be normal.

"Creepy..."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"Nothing, nothing!"

"Ok then" she checked the cameras.

Later...

"MIKE WAKE UP!"

Mike was startled awake.

"Oh finally. Bonnie and chica are on the move and you were sleeping on the job. It's not like I WANT you to survive or anything."

"Well then let me have the monitor."

"What? No!"

"But I'm the nightgaurd!"

"Fiiiine..."

She handed the monitor to mike and he stared at the stage.

"Hehe good bear. You don't wanna kill me do ya?"

Suddenly freddy stared up at the camera.

" AH I WAS WRONG THE BEAR DOES WANT TO KILL ME!"

Mike dropped the monitor.

"Woah geez mike calm down."

"I CANT CALM DOWN! THERE ARE PHYSCO ANIMAL ROBOTS THAT WANT TO KILL ME!"

"I see your point but still-"

"NO I DO NOT WANNA DIE! IM QUITTING AFTER TONIGHT!"

"You can't. You signed a contract, remember?"

"Oh right. Well... Crap. An what are you doing here anyway? Your like 7 years old"

"I AM NOT 7 YEARS OLD!"

"Ok yeesh"

They sat in silence for a bit.

"So... Have you checked the doors yet?" She asked.

"OH GOD I HAVENT!"

He checked the lights to find they wouldn't work. The doors were also kinda sticky.

"Ew what's on my hand?"

The girl checked the doors.

"Strawberry jam. You don't believe me taste some."

"Eww I'm not gonna lick the buttons"

"Of course not so now you have to belive me."

"Soo... We are dead."

"Not me they are my friends. Bye sucker." And with that she left the room.

"WAIT YOU CANT LEAVE ME WITH THE ANIMATRONICS OUTSIDE AND THE DOORS JAMMED!"

"As far as I know it's a free country and it's not illegal to do that"

"Well... Shoot."

And mike sat there waiting for 6am to come.

Tic toc tic toc...

"AHH WHATS THAT TICKING SOUND COMING FROM!?"

"The clock next to you stupid."

Mike looked towards the direction of the sound.

"Freddy?"

"No it's the pizza guy"

"Oh-"

"OF COURSE ITS ME YOU IDIOT!"

Mike turned off the clock and waited.

'Whir...'

"OH CURSE YOU DESK FAN!"


	3. Falls and not-so 7 year olds

**ha I like shark lord alternate ending.**

Mike walked back into his office and sat down. "Hey, uh 7year old kid! Ya here?"

"I AM NOT 7!"

"Uh, yeah, riiiiiigghhhttt..."

"IM NOT 7!"

She walked into the office. "So hey you survived. Good luck tonight."

"Haha I'm a champion. I won't die."

She jut crossed her arms.

"Uh huh, yep. Just wait till night four and you might not be so confident." "What?"

She then smirked and walked out. Then the phone rang.

"Uh, hello? Hello? Is this thing even on? *rustling sound* hehe it is. Um sorry I'm new with this recording thing. Well if you're hearing this, then you made it to day two! Congrats! I- I won't talk quite as long this time, as Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses. Hehe. Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk, just to make sure that everyone's in their proper place, y'know?"

Mike checked the cameras. Bonnie was already on the move.

"Uhh, interestingly enough, Freddy himself doesn't come off stage very often. I heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though, so hey. I guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right? Yeah...

I also want to emphasise the importance of using your door lights. Uh, there are blind spots in your camera view, and those blind spots happen to be right outside your doors. So if you can't find something - or someone - on your cameras, be sure to check the door light. You might only have a few seconds to react. Oh crap. *door closing* yeah sorry, That was chica. And also I'm

Not implying that you would be in any danger, of course. I'm not implying that.

Also, check on the curtain in Pirate Cove from time to time. The character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the cameras remain off for long periods of time. I guess he doesn't like being watched. I dunno."

"FOXY!" The girl said. "He's gonna kill you!"

"OH SHUT UP WILL YA?!"

"Anyway! I'm sure you have everything under control. Talk to you soon!"

Mike checked te cameras. Foxy was already peeking out of the curtains. Suddenly he heard a ban and the girl ran in his office.

"Oh crap chicas mad!"

"What?"

"Hehe, well long story short I messed with her pizza and she's angry and trying to kill me. Freddy is too because I drew a mustache on his face."

"Wow you have a way of making friendships don't you?"

"It's not my fault someone can't take a joke! Anyway your the adult so you have to protect me from them."

"What?!"

"Yeah. And if you don't I'll call the police right now."

"no you wouldn't."

"Oh yeah?"

The girl pulled out an iPhone and started to dial 911.

"Ok! Sorry!"

"I knew our agree! By the way, chicas at the door."

"OH GOD ITS THE CHICKENDUCK THING!"

"She's actually a chicken not a duck."

She scratched her head.

"At least... I think so."

Mike checked the cameras to see foxy running down the hallway. The girl ran out of the room

"No, kid! Your not supposed to-"

He ran out of the room to see her standing next to foxy. She smirked.

"Awww, you care whether or not I like. How sweet."

Mike made a choking motion towards her.

"Sorry you can't kill people. Anyway, I'm leaving, good luck."

She walked off towards the kitchen and foxy headed to the cove.

"Oh great I've been pranked again."

"HEY ENDO! LEMME IN! I HAVE SOME PIZZA!"

He turned to see chica banging on the door.

"You guys talk?"

"Of course we do! Didn't you read the last chapter?"

"What?"

"I said of course we do! Didn't you pay attention yesterday?"

"No you didn't."

"Yeah I did!"

AN NOW FOR THE FACEPALM O THE CHAPTER! *drumroll*

Mike facepalmed and checked the cameras. Freddy was still onstage.

Suddenly he heard a crash from the left door.

"OH SORRY! I TRIPPED! JUST UH, LET ME GO TO THE END OF THE HALL SO I CAN TRY THAT AGAIN. DONT SHUT THE DOOR OR ANYTHING!"

Mike shut the door and heard foxy run into it. The fox sat up rubbing his head.

"OW DUDE! YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO CLOSE THE DOORS!"

"Why are you shouting?"

"OH SO YOU CAN HEAR THROUGH THE DOOR!"

"Well I can hear perfectly fine. Please stop before my ears fall off."

"Oh ok, I'm just gonna leave to play Wii in the cove. I still need to finish mariokart." And with that the fox ran off to the cove.

FOXYS P.O.V.

foxy was running back to the cove and he heard bonnie running after him.

"foxy you have a Wii?! Can I play?"

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no."

He walked into the cove and shut the curtains.

"Well I'll play my guitar till you let me!"

"Fine by my answer is still no."

Foxy started playing and he herd the sound of bonnie grabbing his guitar.

Bonnie started playing his guitar.

"Bonnie my answers still no."

"Well then I'll sing!"

"Oh boy..." Said freddy who was walking to the office.

"Good luck with that. Bonnie's a terrible singer."

"HEY!"

Foxy laughed and kept playing.

"(Tune of do you want to build a snowman) foxy? Will you let me play mariokart? Come on I just wanna play! Please there is multiplayer, don't make me waste the whole day! Err night. I'm sure I could beat you, at the game! Please let me play mariokart! It doesn't have to be mrio cart!"

"Go away bonnie!"

"Now way sorry. Do you wanna play mariokart! Dude I just wanna play for a few minutes! (Continues song cuz I'm lazy XD)"

Bonnie repeated the song over and over and foxy couldn't take it anymore.

"OK FINE YOU CAN PLAY JUST STOP THAT AWFULL SINGING!"

"Yay!"

Bonnie hopped - literally - into the room and started playing.

MIKES P.O.V.

Mike suddenly realized the power was at 10%.

"How did this happen? I was at 60% only a few minutes ago!"

Mike looked out of the window to see the girl grinning impishly.

"What did you do?"

She laughed.

"Oh I only cut your power supply a bit. No biggie!"

"WHAT!"

She started laughing some more.

"OH I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

He then heard freddys song. He couldn't exactly remember the name. It was 'the torn door match' or something.

"Anyway good luck"

She walked out. Mike stared at the clock. '5:59... So close...'

"DING DONG! YAY!"

Mike sighed in relief. The girl was outside the door again.

"Hey good job you lived."

"Duh I'm the champion. Nothing gets past me"

He tried to stand up the realized he was glued to the chair.

"What type of glue is this..."

"Super glue."

"I'm going to kill you some day...


	4. Punches and breaking of the 4th wall

**basically the girl in the story is a younger and more annoying version of me (the fireballs are really some thing my avatar/charachter can do) but she's not 7 XD**

Mike walked into his office night three. Grinning. The phone rang and he picked it up. "Hello, hello? Hey you're doing great! Most people don't last this long. I mean, you know, they usually move on to other things by now. I'm not implying that they died. Th-th-th-that's not what I meant. Uh, anyway I better not take up too much of your time. Things start getting real tonight.

Uh... Hey, listen, I had an idea: if you happen to get caught and want to avoid getting stuffed into a Freddy suit, uhh, try playing dead! You know, go limp. Then there's a chance that, uh, maybe they'll think that you're an empty costume instead. Hmmmmm. WellThen again if they think you're an empty costume, they might try to... stuff a metal skeleton into you. Hehe, I wonder how that would work. Yeah, never mind, scratch that. It's best just not to get caught.

Um... Ok, I'll leave you to it. See you on the flip side. Oh go that sounds like we both are gonna die... That's not what I meant! Like we aren't gonna see each other or anything. Just, nevermind. Talk to you tommorow."

Mike looked to the door the kid usually was in but she wasn't there

"Heya doofus! I thought you should always check both doors, being a nightgaurd and all."

"Oh I was just looking for you! And look what I got!"

He pretended to rummage in his bag and pulled out a fire extinguisher.

"Oh! What's this?"

He mocked surprise.

"Oh crap."

*montage moment*

Mike chases after the girl with a fire hydrant until foxy punches him.

*end of montage moment*

FOXYS P.O.V

Mike was running after blaze with afire extinguisher and was acting like an idiot so foxy punched him. What? Isn't that what you do when people you know are acting like idiots?

"Go back to yer office mike. It's not like ye be asking to die or anythin."

The fox said.

"Wait, how come you know my name but I don't know her name?!"

"It's on your shirt dummy. Also my names blaze." The girl said.

She reached out her hand to mike.

Mike shook it and got shocked.

"OW! What the heck!"

"Hehe. SHOCKER eh?"

"Rrrrr!"

"Don't growl. You sound like a lawn mower."

Foxy decided to intervene.

"Er mike prob'ly should probably be gettin to the office. Chica look ready to kill ye"

"Foxy you don't have to talk like a pirate, your not on stage."

"Oh, yeah"

MIKES P.O.V

AND NOW FACEPALM OF THE CHAPTER! (Drumroll)

Mike facepalmed and walked into the office.

Blaze followed.

"You probably don't wanna sit down"

"Why not?"

"I put glue on the chair when foxy hit you in the head"

"Oh"

Mike grabbed a fold up chair and sat in it.

"Why do you keep pranking me?"

"I hate you."

"Oh, how nice."

"Thanks! By the way that was sarcastic."

"When are you gonna stop hating me?"

"Ummmm the author says once you beat the week."

"What?"

"I said maybe after I pull an ultimate prank."

"That wasn't what you said."

"Yes it was"

"No it wasn't"

"I'm pretty sure that's what I said."

"No that's not what you said"

"Then what did I say?"

"... I forgot."

"Of course you did. The author wanted you to forget."

"What?"

"I said of course you did. Your old and forgetful."

"No it wasn't"

"STOP ARGUING ABOUT WHATEVER I SAY!"

She summoned a fireball.

"GAH, ok! (Mumbles) I wish I had the fire extinguisher with me but foxy knocked it out of my hands."

"I heard that!"

"Y-you did!"

"Of course I did. The author wanted me too."

"What?"

"I said of course I did. I have good hearing."

"No you- *gulp* hehe. I mean, of course that's what you said!"

"You should probably close the right door."

Sure enough bonnie was there.

"Yeah, I'm leaving, good luck!"

She walked out leaving mike to survive.

"Oh crap it at 20%"

Mike checked the cameras and saw freddy was leering in the camera.

He quickly slammed the door.

"Aw man! Come on! Worst time freddy!"

"..."

"Silent? I thought you talked."

"..."

"Ok then..."

"..."

FREDDYS P.O.V

Freddy was leering In Front of the camera when the powers ran out.

"Oh uh..."

He decided it was too long to walk around so he went through the office.

"Let me just- just passing through- don't mind me...

Mike had his arms crossed and an annoyed expression on his face.

"Just gonna go in place here in the west corner..."

He go in place.

"-alright,alright"

He started to play the toreador match when...

"DING DONG! YAY!"

"Oh crap, well, bye endo."

"Won't miss ya, but bye."

MIKES P.O.V

Mike was sitting in the chair when blaze came in.

"Geez mike harsh."

"Well they ARE trying to kill me."

"I would care if it was the others but I don't because it's fatso freddy."

"Geez blaze harsh."

"I forgot I tell you, I put glue on that chair too..."

"WHAT?!"


	5. 5 The last call and the duck creature

Hi** everyone! I know this is pretty late lol but here's a new chapter! I know a lot of people aren't really into the FNaF franchise anymore and tbh I'm my really either but I figured I could put in a new chapter as a treat. Also, Blaze does not represent me anymore she is just a normal charachter. A normal character with flame powers.**

Mike walked into the office and checked for glue on his chair then sat down seeing there was no glue. He sat for a while waiting for the child but she wasn't showing up. "Kid?" He checked the cameras but did not see her. Suddenly his camera was pulled down

"BOO!" Blaze yelled at his face.

"AHHHH" he leaned back and tipped his chair onto the floor.

"You fell in case you didn't know." She grinned her usual mischievous smile.

"Thank you captain obvious" he grumbled and tipped his chair up again. "What did you do with the phone?" He asked, pointing to the blank spot where the phone once stood. Blazes smile faded.

"I don't think you want to hear this call, but I guess you can if you want to." She gave him the phone. Almost perfectly on time it rang and Mike picked up the phone.

"OH ITS THE WRONG NUMBER! THE WRONG NUMBER SONG! WERE VERY VERY SORRY THAT WE GOT IT WRONG! OH ITS-" Mike slammed the phone down.

"Stupid pranksters" he muttered.

The phone rang again and he picked it up hoping it wasn't another prank call.

"_Hello, hello? Hey! Hey, wow, day 4. I knew you could do it! Well... If your not dead already, that is._

_Um, hey, listen, I... may not be around to send you a message tomorrow."_

Mike heard a banging sound and instinctively looked at the door although it was open.

_"It's-It's kinda been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm pretty glad that I recorded my messages for you..."_

_He cleared his throat._

_"uh, when I did..._

_Uh, hey, could you maybe do me a favor?"_

Mike winced at the sound of banging on the doors.

_" Maybe sometime, uh, you could check inside those suits in the back room? *__**bang bang**__* I'm gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won't be so bad. *__**bang bang**__* Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there. Hehe..."_

_The toreador match started playing._

_"You know...Um... Oh no-"_

_The sounds of a struggle followed by an unfamiliar but recognizable screech of an animatronic sounded._

_The phone went dead._

Mike sat in silence for a bit.

"Y'see why I didn't want you to hear that?" Blaze said.

"Yeah..."

"Ya scared?"

"Um kinda, but why would you ask that?"

"Good! You'll see tommorow! Or today! I have no idea when"

"See what"

"NOTHING! Just enjoy another night of almost dying!"

She ran out of the room.

"YOUR REALLY GONNA LEAVE ON THAT NOTE?!"

"YEP!"

He sighed. "Yay. Fun time."

He checked the cameras only to find children's drawings of things like princesses and unicorns blocking the view.

"What the..."

"Like the art?" Blaze was suddenly back in the room.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm afraid not, Frances."

"Frances?"

"Your new nickname."

He glared at her and she laughed annoyingly.

He checked the side door an closed it on Chicas face.

"OKAY THE CREEPY DUCK IS THERE"

"EXCUSE ME?" Chica glared

"Did you just call me a DUCK?"

"What." He looks confused.

"I am a CHICKEN!"

"Well now you got her mad." Bonnie said from the other door.

"I thought she was a duck..." Mike muttered and closed the door on Bonnie. "Doesn't she look like a duck?" He asks Blaze.

"I'm pretty sure she's a... Chickenduck!" Blaze exclaimed.

"A chickenduck?"

"Half duck half chicken!"

He gave her an odd look.

"What."

After a while the night ended and Mike got up to leave. He then remembered... "I'm gonna go checked he back room before I go."

"Great! I'll one with ya, so you don't die!"

"Well that gives me a positive feeling about that room." Mike said sarcastically and walked into the room. The smell hit him first.

"Ugh it reeks."

He walked up to the spare head and tipped it over, only to find...

A PILE OF GLITTER AND SMALL PHONE STICKERS?

"WHAT?" He stared at it confused.

"Suprise!" The phone guy and Blaze cheered behind him.

"We really gotcha didn't we, Phonie?" Blaze grinned.

"Don't call me Phonie."

"Okay, phonie." She fist bumped the phone guy.

"You were so scared!" She laughed.

"...Mike?"

Mike slowly turned around, with a look of rage on his face.

"Uh oh..."

"TIME TO RUN!"

Phone guy and Blaze ran around the building with Mike chasing after them

"IT WAS JUST A JOKE! DONT KILL US!"


End file.
